Sweet confessions on the darkest hour
by Chelsieobsessed1980
Summary: Placed during Mrs. Hughes health scare so if I would go according to the real script that would be during season three. I always thought it was shameless that we had to wait for Carson/Hughes love confessions until the end of season 5 so I decided that it should happen a lot earlier. Enjoy it ;-) Again-sorry for all the language mistakes.


Sweet confessions on the darkest hour

Carson knew that something was wrong. He was beginning to get this feeling few days ago, watching her very precisely, every day, as he did for a while, ever since he first understood what he felt for her. He sensed some tension in her- lack of her usual warm smile, sad eyes, her being absent-minded most of the time, which was quite unlike her. Only yesterday when he knocked her door in the afternoon, wanting to check something in the ledgers, he took a glance at her and noticed that her eyes were humid, like she has just shed a few tears, thinking that anyone isn't watching. Today morning when he was passing the corridor, he saw Elsie with Mrs Patmore-both standing in the dark end of the corridor, speaking about something important- their faces were really worried and the bits of a conversation that he heard confirmed his darkest suspisions-that there was a problem with Elsie's health. Ever since then, he just couldn't let it go. He had to be sure, he had to know why the woman he loved the most in this world is so sad and so scared, so later the same afternoon he invited Mrs Patmore to his pantry to find out the truth. The whole truth. The scariest truth. He just had to know. And so he did. Reluctantly but honestly Mrs Patmore finally broke her promise to her best friend and she confessed that Elsie has a health scare, as the doctor suspects that she might have cancer, but there are still no test results which could have confirmed that or deny that.

When Mrs Patmore left, leaving him with the horrendous news, he was shocked to the very core. He simply wasn't able to believe that something like this might happen. That the love of his life, centre of his universe, reason of his existence can be taken away from him. He was so overwhelmed by the race of his own thoughts, that he wasn't quite sure what was the most awful thing about this- was it the fact that she was trying to hide it from him? Or the awarness that she might died never knowing his true feelings, his deepest feelings. The feelings that were locked inside him. The time was passing by-day by day, week after week, month after month and he still couldn't make an effort to confess his love to her. He couldn't exactly tell why. Maybe he was afraid that he will be rejected? Maybe it was better for him to live in an illusion that she feels the same way for him? That is the one thing he was never sure of...Sometimes when they talked, laugh, being together, looking each other in the eyes, he was more than certain that she loves him too. Sometimes he thought that she looked at him when she thought that he dosen't see it. Other times her beautiful blue eyes, so deeply blue as the lakes of Scotland, seem to express so much more than she wanted to reveal to him. When they passed each other in the hallway or somehere else and there was a random body contact, she seemed to be a little confused but that could easily be his assumptions. That's why he never decided to confess his true feelings. He was afraid that she is not where he is, that she might reject him and that would make impossible for them to still be together, work together, live together under the same roof. He lived with hope that someday a miracle will happen and that some kind of wonderful twist of fate will bring them together. But now the situation has changed dramaticly. Now her life was at stake and he knew that there is not a moment to loose. His heart was aching at the very thought of his beloved woman going through this nightmare on her own. How scared at lonely must she feel waiting for the verdict. Her-Elsie-lovely, sweet Elsie, who was always a domestic angel for everyone else-full of compassion, understanding, a gold-heart woman, was now alone, with nobody to turn to. Suddenly he wanted to just run to her, take her in his arms, hug her, kiss her tears away and tell her that she means a everything to him, that she is not alone with this awful burden, that he will be there for her all the time, whatever happens. For such a long time he dreamed of sharing everything with her-her joy, her dailiness, her sorrow and now her tragedy. Elsie can't be alone with this. He won't let this happen. Even if if turns out that she dosn't share his feelings she will know that she is his reason to live.

When Carson made that decision, he instanlty took his steps towards Elsie's room- at this hour she was usually making a list of kitchen shopping for Mrs Patmore. He was not wrong-when he walked into her room he found her sitting by the table, absorbed with her work as she always was (one of the thousand other things that he loved about her).

"Mrs Hughes may I come in?" he asked politely as always.

"Of course Mr Carson, please come in. How can I help you?"-she asked with a pale trace of smile while her eyes were still sad and distant.

"There is one very important matter that I would like to discuss with you".

"Seems important judging by the way you look. Shall we discuss it now Mr Carson?"

"Not now Mrs Hughes, you have your work to do and I have to start my preparations to the afternoon tea. Dowager Countess is coming to visit. I was thinking that maybe we could talk after dinner, when we are finished for the day".

"Very well Mr Carson. So we will talk after dinner than. Hope everything is all right with you. You seem worried."

"I'm quite all right Mrs Hughes. I'm gonna get back to my duties now. So will see each other after dinner, in my pantry."

"I'll see you then"

When Carson left, her mind began to work intensly. What was that all about? Why of the sudden he asked her for a conversation and why was he that serious? Does he know something? Thousands of possibilities came trough her head at once. Ever since she have discovered that lump in her breast she wasn't able to think about anything else, especially now, waiting for the results, but Charles Carson have managed to disturbed her mind. But then again, dosen't he always? Ever since she could remember he was always the caused of all her anxieties. When she first started to work in Downton as a young maid, he was so strict that he made her scary, but then when time passed and she was promoted and became a housekeeper, which made them equals, she began to realize that she fell in love with him madly, the anxiety growed in her because now everyday and every evening that they spent together was marked by the overpowering need of hiding her true feelings for him. She had to constantly be aware of the fact that he can easily read love for him in her eyes, in her smile, in the sound of her soft voice when she was talking to him. All those feelings that she had for such a long time, were really difficult to hide and if that wasn't enough, now she had to keep away from him the informations about her health. She just hoped that she was doing it cleverly enough not to make him guess something. God knows that the last thing she wanted was to let him think that she is weak or dying woman. She always had that dual emotions towards Charles-on the one hand she always wanted to look as strong and brave woman, who can handle the roughness of this world on her own-from the other she was dreaming of the moment when she could feel little and helpless in his arms, so he could protect her. She loved him desperately-that's for sure. She longed for their all alone moments together which were very seldom in the house full of people, yet somehow even though, they've manged to have those moments. Sometimes Elsie wondered was it natural and random or were they both trying to do everything they could to make it possible. When they were alone together she wished that it would never end, that they could be like that forever but the reality was quite different. Nothing compared to her dreams. She was holding into every little detail, hoping that one day there will be something what will ultimately convience her that he belongs to her, that he loves her the way she does love him. Time went by and that moment still never arrived. But now? He really looked seriously when he asked for the private conversation. Whatever that is Elsie-she said to herself-you will have to accept that with grace and dignity as you always are. You cannot expose oneself for any kind of humiliation in his presence or that will be the end of your work in this house. "Will live, will see what that conversation might bring".

Later, that evening...

When the dinner was finished and the Downton servants were slowly heading to their bedrooms to get their well-deserved night rest, Mrs Hughes was tiding her papers on the desk to keep it in the perefect order, as she always did. When she finished it she knew that there was nothing more to do but go to Mr Carson's pantry to talk to him as they agreed before. She sighed quietly and headed his direction, checking on her way if the coast was clear, just to make sure they will not be disturbed by anyone. She entered his pantry full of emotions running inside her, but trying to look naturally and casually.

"Well Mr Carson I think that we might call it a night, might we? It was a really log day" she said with a smile, while her eyes went illuminated with his sight.

"Indeed it was Mrs Hughes. I'm glad that we've manged to survive. Once again. Now we have a chance to talk in peace and quiet" -he replied. He walked towards the door and shut them.

"I do not wish to be disturbed by anyone"-he said noticing her surprised look.

"I think that's quite unlikely-they all went to sleep a while ago. What did you wanted to talked to me about?"

He was now standing next to her, close, too close for her comfort, she began to have the same feeling of uncertainity that she had ever since she understood her love for him.

He was trying to find the right words to begin this conversation, to find the matching words...

"Mrs Hughes I...I'm not sure how to start"...

"Maybe from the beginning Mr Carson?" She smiled and another heat of love went trough her body...

"Mrs Hughes I've been watching you for a while and I've noticed that something is wrong with you, I saw that you are carrying a very heavy burden, on your own, struggling with really difficult things by yourself, it shouldn't be that way"...

"Mr Carson..."-she interrupted him, in the state of complete shock of his words-"I..."

"Please let me finish before I loose my courage to say what I have to say"..he replied and his gaze became softer and gentle, as he looked at her bewildered face...

"I know the truth, I know what you are going trough, I know about your health problems".

"But how? When? Who?"...she was so confused that she couldn't speak with a coherent sentences.."Who told you about that, that wasn't doctor Clarkson, was it? Because if it was him I'll swear I will"...

"Now calm down Mrs Hughes, of course it wasn't him-our doctor is a decent man, who would never break the doctor's secret. It's really not important who told me. The most improtant question is why didn't you tell me that? Why were you trying to keep it from me? That is what I cannot understand"

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think of me as a weak woman and maybe a dying one"..she answered trying to keep her voice in the usual tone but it became a little trembling...

"Mrs Hughes I would never think of you as a weak woman...You are strong and brave. You are a heart and a soul of this house. How many people would be able to go through such difficult time on their own? Without support of another human being?"-he asked with a soft voice, getting near her...

"I didn't want to encumber anyone with it...I was always the strong one, the one that everyone could rely on, the one that can't collapse"...she said as her voice slowly move on to sob and she began to cry..Tears were running down her face and her body was weeping spasmodically. When Charles saw his beloved woman in this state, he immediately forgot about all the rules that always marked the boundaries of his behaviour and instantly took her in his arms, holding her so close to himself as it was possible. She was so astonished and surprised by his action that at first she stiffled at his embrace, but soon this affectionate gesture of his made her so breathless and weak in the knees that she hold on to him too, still crying but being safe in his arms.

Feeling her closeness and sensing her warm body all lost in his, Charles knew that this was the moment when the truth must be revealed.

"Shh..Elsie.." he whispered gently..."my darling, my love..."-he kept her so thightly sunken in his arms, feeligng the wild racing of her heart, smelling the wonderful scent of her hair as he always dreamed of...

"Love?...Charles did you say love?"-she asked with such an enormous doze of suprise that it almost made him want to smile..

"Yes. Love. I love you Elsie Hughes. Love you so much ever since I can remember. You are my whole world and I will not let you go through this alone. No more...Now I will take care of you..."

"Oh Charles..she sighed, feeling an enormous relief-"Charles I love you too, for such a long time. I just wasn't sure if you feel the same"..

"I was. I'm...I cannot find the words to tell you how much I love you. I will never let anything bad happen to you. I will protect you because you are meant to be mine. You are mine. You will be mine-I want you to be my wife. I want to spent the rest of my life with you. Loving you and protecting you."

Elsie was so happy hearing those words that she wanted to hear for such a long time, she raised her head up and her eyes just to look at him and she saw so much love and tenderness in his eyes that it was almost unbaerable for her. He softly took her face in his hands, bent down and kissed her lips gently and she eagerly responded to this kiss. Their lips caressed slowly but kind of impatiently too, which was understable, giving the amount of time they were longing to do that. When they finally stopped, just to catch the breathe, they cling to each other once more and their hands were slowly wandering on their bodies, searching to know and feel all the areas that they both desired so much.

"Charles"-she finally managed to speak trough this moment of love and passion-" I don't know what will happen. I don't know if I'm gonna live or not but it is worth to go through this healt scare just for this moment. It was worth to hear your confession".

"I couldn't wait any longer with that confession my darling...You are going to live because otherwise I would have no reason to live...You must live so I you can make me the happiest man in the world..."

"In that case Charles I will live...for you darling and for our future happiness"

"Oh Elsie,my beautiful one,my Scottish sweetheart"-he murmured...

He bent over again to kiss away the tears of her face,as he noticed that her cheeks were still wet, With a tremendous doze of affection and when he did they started to kiss again, expressing all the long lost love which captured their hearts many years away...


End file.
